Does th’ average global temperature drop on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

19 Sep

One o' th' foundin' principles behind Flyin' Spaghetti Monsterism be that th' global decline in seafarin' heartys since th' 1800s be responsible fer global warmin'. Th' FSM`s prophet, Bobby Henderson, suggests that today`s holiday, Talk Like a Pirate Day, ought temporarily reduce global temperatures as we appease th' FSM noodly appendages. This suggests that 't may be possible t' test fer th' existence o' th' FSM usin' his arch-nemesis, science. So I present a simple test o' Flyin' Spaghetti Monsterism: Does th' average global temperature drop on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

T' test this question scientifically would require a times series o' of th' average global temperature o'er many voyages. Unfortunately, I be a social scientist an' be havin' nay idee 'ere t' find this data in a format t' which I could swabbieally apply rigorous statistical methods. However, NASA does be havin' a website 'ere they allow ye t' graph th' average global temperature. Unfortunately, as th' graph shows, September 19 be nay a tide o' drastically colder weather. In fact, 't e'en appears that in some voyages 'tis th' apex o' a considerable rise in temperature. While thar be nay way t' test whether this rise be statistically significant, 't suggests two possibilities:

  1. Th' FSM only rewards real piracy, nay pseudo-piracy. We must keel haul th' keel haul, nay jus' talk th' talk if we wish t' appease th' lad's. Or …
  2. Th' FSM, who deliberately uses science t' deceive us, be simply maskin' his existence by returnin' false satellite data.

Either way, th' FSM once again proves that science be a fraud. Arrrrr!

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